Let’s talk about the rapidly approaching day of required recognition known as (duh duh duhhh) Valentine’s Day….
Now as you can probably guess from the very first sentence, I am not a fan.
And not for the cliché “she’s just a bitter woman” reason that is the fru-fru, high maintenance woman’s automatic response to that statement.
And not because I am a harsh feminist either.
It is true that I am a single mother. Enjoying the peace and ease of living that goes along with being master of my own domain. But that has nothing to do with my dislike of this day. Honestly, I despised it even during the most blindly blissful moments of coupled life.
I resent the commercially required display of affection truthfully because I am a romantic at heart.
If someone is in a loving, healthy relationship, you should feel it and show it every day. Someone buying a silly card and an obligatory gift because commercialized social pressure requires it irritates me!
I love the little things about a truly healthy relationship…
A sweet kiss brushed across the back of your neck while you are working on something…
A heart drawn on a fogged up mirror while you are in the shower just to let you know the other person is thinking of you…
A hand on the small of your back just to reassure you they are with you…
These are the things that show how you feel about someone.
Have you seen the price of cut flowers? And the cost is even more to have them delivered for the Office Display of Affection Contest.
My son has a friend who spent over $200.00 on Valentine’s Day gifts, dinner and activities last year… $200.00!!! And he is a COLLEGE STUDENT! It has gotten out of control!
I hear women compare what they receive for Valentine’s Day like it truly is a competition. I’m sorry, but how shallow are you?! Do you even care about any sentiment behind the extravagance?
Guys feel pressured to out-do last year, out-spend their significant other’s friends.
I saw an article last year about a man who gave his wife a gag gift for Christmas and the article and the many responses were alluding to how much “trouble” he got in and betting he was single now… REALLY? Didn’t he “prove” he loved his WIFE when he married her? Shouldn’t they know each other well enough to take a joke, being in a committed relationship and all?
The fact that even the male commentators were aghast at his gift proves how brainwashed we have become. When did we start placing more value on the things than the people we are involved with?
I know a woman personally who pitched a tantrum when her live-in-boyfriend wrapped an engagement ring in a bathrobe as her gift. Because she expected a ring and already had a bathrobe, she threw the box down to stomp away. The box with the ring tumbled out of the folds of the robe. She snatched it up and continued her tantrum because it wasn’t the ring she wanted!
All I can say is, “Thank Goodness I am not a man!”
First of all, if my spouse placed more value on a gift or a ring than me, they would not be my spouse.
Secondly, they would hopefully understand how I feel about them without having a card, flowers, candy, gift and expensive dinner mandated by Hallmark to prove it.
Let me also say, as a woman and a mother, there are SO MANY more important things in life to spend money on. I hate receiving cut flowers, always have. If a man wants to spend $40+ on me, spend it on something real. Put gas in my car. Change the oil in my car. Spend time with me. That is real.
If you want to show me how you feel about me, it really is all in the little things you do every day. If you are distant and self-centered all year except when society expects a monetary display, I am definitely not impressed.
My favorite gift ever was a hand written note accompanying a homemade meal that I didn’t have to cook or clean up. A night off! Ahhhh…. .
It is very sad to me what this day has become. Sad the way women view gifts from their significant other. Sad how accepted and expected this behavior has become.
So, from me to you, Happy Required Display of Affection Day.